My mother has no filter. If a thought pops into her head, it immediately flies out of her mouth. As far as my family can tell, there is nothing between thought and verbalization. But in the case of my mom, we all think it’s cute and funny because she’s cute and funny and, typically, her non-filtered comments are about something she’s eating or a bad hair day.

And my mom isn’t trying to get a game published, find a job, pick up new clients, or score good press. So, unless you’re my mother or you’re not trying to accomplish any of the aforementioned, then you may not need to read any further. However, if you’re not my mother and you are trying to accomplish at least one of same, then, please, read on.

"Go f*ck yourself." (Edited).

That’s what the reply email said when the charming young man, whose name is now in the company’s file, was turned down for a job. At least he spelled everything correctly, used punctuation and proper capitalization, and, indeed, it was a complete sentence. All of which, certainly, is a current rarity in emails, but proper grammar is a topic for another day. The issue today is filtering oneself.

Generally speaking, a filter of manners is missing in today’s business world. This industry, in particular, attracts young people, many of whom have been raised in a society where shock value is celebrated and etiquette dismissed. This isn’t about which fork to use at an upscale restaurant, or whether you should hold the door open for a female, this is about fundamental decency. Something that shouldn’t even have to be taught, but perhaps should be.

Game agent, Jay Powell, of Octagon Entertainment believes it a key issue in an industry he describes as "way too small to burn bridges." Says Powell, "there is far too much turnover, and if you don't know a person's history you can really put yourself in a bad position later. Blowing off a producer at a small publisher could hurt you down the road if that person suddenly takes a job at EA, for example. They're going to remember how they were treated the first time."

Faceless email is most likely a key culprit in the notable decline in basic civility. It’s much easier to vomit every vile thought in your head when you’re vomiting on a computer screen, but here’s a filtering tip: Before hitting "send" ask yourself whether this is something you would say to your intended recipient were you live and in person, sitting face-to-face. If not, then don’t send it.

Having a bad day? Join the club.

My dad was orphaned in his early teens. He didn’t have a nickel to his name. He lived in a small town in Oklahoma and after he was discovered sleeping in an abandoned building, the local fire department let him live at the fire station and sleep on one of the cots. In exchange, he helped fight fires. So, until he graduated from high school, if a fire broke out during the school day, the fire truck would swing by the school, sound the bell, and my dad would run out of class to help go fight a fire.

You know what people, other than my family, know about my dad? Not any of the above. My dad worked hard, didn’t complain, never said more than he should, and never made excuses because he was having a bad life.

And now he lives in a very nice house with a cute and funny wife who has no filter.

Game recruiter and regular GIGnews contributor, Melanie Cambron, has been the recipient of some fairly scathing emails, which are later simply chalked up to just a "bad day".

"I have received a number of terribly rude emails from job candidates after giving them honest and hopefully helpful feedback," says Cambron. "Occasionally, a day or so later, they'll send me an apology saying that they had just had a bad day. Well, I remember those offensive ‘bad day’ emails and, generally speaking, am reluctant to put those people in touch with any of my clients for fear they might have another ‘bad day’."

But what if you’re really having a bad day? Then, moan and groan to your friends. Complain to your spouse. Start a blog. Take it out on a game of Quake, but do not take it out in a business setting. The economy sucks. We’re on the verge of war. We’re all having some less than stellar days. When it gets down to business-related communications, just get over it.

Again, the truth is this is a small industry. It may be big money-wise, but there is still very much an "it’s a small world after all" atmosphere. Many in the industry consider the Game Developers Conference something akin to a high school reunion, so unless you’re well acquainted with the person you’re talking to, don’t badmouth someone else.

Don’t send an email to someone you really don’t know criticizing another sound designer’s work. He may work with that sound designer. If you’re a developer desperate for a publishing deal, don’t sit across the table from someone you don't know at E3 and say exactly how you feel about a certain publisher. She may be that publisher’s PR rep. And, certainly, in an interview, avoid bashing a lead artist to your interviewer. As it turns out that lead artist just may be the wife of the interviewer.

Unless, of course, you know this is your last day on earth and you believe any consequences are, frankly, inconsequential.

Filtering isn’t just about not being rude to others and risking the repercussions, it’s about not selling yourself short. For example, in Get In the Game! Careers in the Game Industry, author Marc Mencher has this piece of advice for game artists looking for a job and sending out a demo reel: "Never make apologies for your demo. If you feel the need to apologize for the lack of quality or the lack of substance, you are not ready to send it out." This is a valuable maxim for everyone. Just because you have the thought at the moment, doesn’t mean you need to immediately shout it to the world. Recently, I received a job inquiry which included a cover letter with the following: "I may not seem very excited right now because I got home about two hours ago from a third shift job. So I apologize for the abruptness."

If you feel compelled to apologize, don't send it or say it. (And as for the third shift job bit, see "bad day", above).

A Jerry Springer messy life in full display won’t help get your game published, get you a job, land you a new client, or score you some good press. The publisher, the employer, the client, and the media don’t want to hear your sob story; they most likely have their own woes. If you’re not sure about what you’re saying, run it through another filter such as a friend or family member. Again, this isn’t about kvetching all you want with your mates, this about being professional. Save that email in your "drafts" folder and put it away for the day. Look at it again tomorrow after you’ve had a night’s rest, when you’re fresh and less frazzled.

While on a reduced publishing schedule during the holidays, a certain publication received a press release from a new venture. Impressed by the new venture’s business idea, a congratulatory email with a request for additional information was sent back. In reply to that, the new venture’s press rep sent back an email sans any thanks for the interest, but with this comment: "you guys should really do more updates, I thought you were just another dot gone."

Wrong answer.

In short, just think of all those thoughts in your brain as ground coffee beans. When brewing coffee, if you don’t place a filter between the beans and the pot, you get a mess and, then, while trying to salvage at least one cup of coffee by straining it through a paper towel draped over your mug, you just make a bigger mess. And it tastes bad.

Use a filter.