A couple of months ago I wrote an article on proper business communications. Entitled, Use a Filter: Why You Should Not Express Every Last Thought That Pops into Your Head to People You Really Don’t Know, the article, in a nutshell, was about business email etiquette. The response I received to the article was remarkable, even being pulled aside by a well-known speaker at the Game Developers Conference who thanked me for writing it. Several people emailed similar thanks and encouraged more articles along those lines. As flattery will get you everywhere, and with E3 on the docket this month, where many of us will be out from behind our computers and the anonymity of email, meeting and interacting with others in the flesh, I thought it might be time for a quick E3 etiquette primer.

As I noted in my last article, this isn’t about how you behave with your friends in non-business situations. I’m happy to say my friends are just as charmingly offensive as ever, this is about business-related behavior. It’s about employing basic common sense and it’s about the dollar dollar bill, y’all.

Yes, she concluded, manners matter.
First a quick thought on why manners even matter. Watching the war, various thoughts squirmed in my mind. Sickened by reports of soldiers and civilians dying, I thought "people are dying, why do manners even matter?" But, then, I also thought "why do games really matter when people are dying?" And, then, "why does anything even matter?" Realizing just about any topic could be extrapolated to the extreme, I decided that in the interest of sanity, yes, manners matter. In short, they’re like traffic signals. Manners allow us to successfully get from point A to point B and without leaving a mangled mess in our wake.

In an industry where jobs entail creating scenarios of death and destruction, writing about manners may seem a bit a strange, but a courteous demeanor in reality need not castrate a devious demeanor in virtual reality. Some of the biggest names in this industry -- people who could behave pretty much however they wanted and still be worshipped -- are among the kindest, most polite people I’ve ever met. Are they at the top because they’re well-mannered? Maybe not. But it probably hasn’t hurt.

If social etiquette and business etiquette had a baby.
Even cursory research on the subject of etiquette indicates most manner-instructing types divide etiquette into two categories: social etiquette and business etiquette. But that’s easier written than done. Events such as E3 put us in the position of combining the two; that is, trying to do business in social settings: parties, cocktail receptions and client dinners.

Given the hybrid nature of trade show etiquette, what I aim to do is just hit the etiquette highlights to help successfully negotiate a typical E3 day. This won’t be about which fork to use or the secret to a deal-winning handshake, rather, the following are just some of the basics that we may all tend to forget in the swirl of throbbing music, gyrating graphics, and clinking cocktails.

If a meeting is scheduled, show up.
There is simply no excuse for completely missing meetings. Mobile phones have rendered virtually all excuses obsolete. If a meeting is scheduled, and you’re not lying prostrate in front of the Los Angeles Convention Center waiting for an ambulance to pick you up, then show up for the meeting. If you’re going to be late, call and let the other party know. And the fact that mobile phone reception inside the show is sketchy at best is no excuse. Walk toward the front doors and make the call. If, for some reason, the meeting is missed, don’t just cross your fingers and hope the other person forgot, too. Rather, as soon as the mistake is realized, make the call or send the email and extend apologies.

Make a gracious exit.
There will be lots of meetings going on during E3 and they will be happening anytime and just about anywhere. If chatting up a friend or a person you’ve always admired and someone else arrives on the scene with whom this person obviously needs to speak, make a prompt and gracious exit. We shouldn’t put our friends or heroes in the position of having to shoo us away.

And along those lines, when playing a game or meeting a "star", be mindful of the line that is forming behind you. If you love something, set it free, if it was meant to be, it will come back to you.

Business card exchange.
When I first learned of the ceremony of the Japanese business card exchange, the obnoxious American in me thought "well, that’s a bit much", but, at it’s core, it provides an excellent standard for how business cards should be exchanged. That is, if someone offers their business card, offer yours in exchange. And don’t just stuff their card in a pocket upon receipt, take a moment to look at it, and then politely tuck it away. Honestly, this just sounds hokier than the actual gesture.

Make the introduction.
When meeting someone or being introduced, make sure to actually say your name. Don’t make others struggle to remember your name or struggle to catch a sideways glimpse of your name on your show badge so they can make the introduction. This is particularly key if you’ve borrowed someone else’s badge.

Make eye contact.
Eye contact is a funny thing. When others are making eye contact, we don’t give it that much thought, but if they don’t make eye contact, it’s hard to think about anything else. Why won’t they look at me? Is there something on my face? Am I that boring?

There is a particularly smart and funny guy in this industry who communicates with remarkably intelligent and friendly emails, but, in person, he simply won’t make eye contact, making conversations rather awkward. Odds are no one will put the hoodoo voodoo on you or fall stalker-like madly in love if you look into their eyes. Unless you're Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, make eye contact. People notice if you don’t.

Open the door.
If someone has their hands full, open the door for them. When walking through a door and someone is right behind you, continue holding the door, don’t just let it close in their face. Also try a polite "excuse me" versus bashing through the crowd. I confess, I never cease to be amazed by how we no longer extend these common courtesies. I don’t know if we’ve all become completely cowed by the fear of appearing sexist, ageist, or somethingist, but, at the end of the day, this is simply about basic human kindness.

Don’t order the lobster.
At E3 last year, I was invited to dinner by one of my client companies. As orders were placed, when it came around to the person sitting next to me, he ordered the lobster. The "market price" lobster. It had already been confided in me that this person was on the bubble and the company was basically looking for reasons to not fire him. End of story, he shouldn’t have ordered the lobster. I’m not saying look down the menu for the cheapest item or you’ll be fired, but if you’re not picking up the tab, don’t be absurd.

Don’t do that shot.
Drinking is an integral part of E3. It is a social conduit that is just part of the scene and there is nothing wrong with that. While Oscar Wilde’s quote that "Moderation is a fatal thing... Nothing succeeds like excess," sounds really cool, when with clients, potential clients, and others you should try to be impressing, moderation is the key to success. Too much alcohol might make you tell that joke or utter that expletive and, if trying to get a job, until you’re the art director’s actual buddy, don’t get drunk with him.

Exerting a modicum of moderation the night before will help business efforts the day after as well. A dear friend of mine overindulged last year and the next day, when I stopped to visit him at his booth, I noticed chunks of carrots on the front of his shirt. He also appeared a unique shade of green. As it turns out, vomiting in a trade show bathroom isn’t as much fun as it sounds.

When offered, never refuse a mint.
Just take the mint. We should all just take the mint.